Happy November everyone. It’s almost the same time it was last year! Almost because except for something about the planet and the sun which is pretty made up to begin with I don’t think anything between then and now is even remotely the same. Hooray!
Very busy busy these last few days, between trying to train for two new jobs, and having my parents in town, on top of Halloween weekend. It’s like I’m slowly losing control. But it’s becoming manageable, and soon all my flash cards will be finished for the restaurant, even though I’m having some issues scheduling time off for holidays with the bookstore. So it goes.
My apartment is 99% done as far as furniture and liveability. I’m looking forward to having a wireless network, and a television of my own. I’m still debating buying the wii. I bet I would enjoy it.
Exercising is good fun.
It’s nice to have the house to myself, and that it’s dirty. That way I have the opportunity to clean it all up and feel smugly superior about the whole thing. My clothes are clean, and need to be folded. It’ll be nice to have them all placed away neatly. It affords me the ability to clean myself up nicely too. I look forward to the next three or four hours of shameless self-aggrandizement as I order my universe.
My aunt and uncle are returning soon, and my parents will be visiting shortly. Certain small things seem to be shaping up. I have a job interview at the bookstore on Wednesday, and another for a restaurant on the weekend that my friends plan to work at.
Some things seem to be working out nicely. I was reminded that I was born in the year of the rat today.
I’ve found out that one of my favourite groups, warsawpack, actually had a second album released in 2003, and I never got to hear it. GRRRrrr. It’s called Stocks and Bombs and I really want to get a hold of it.
sad face.
I’m also sick today, dreadfully ill. I am just not feeling good.
My group interview at the bookstore went well, but it does not pay quite a lot. I’m thinking of applying to another high end chain restaurant in the area, for a main job since I’m sure that I can push the $/hour higher, and keeping the bookstore gig as a second job.
That’s assuming of course that I get the job in the first place. I haven’t had my crohn’s shot in quite some time, I did eventually go on the remicade like I mentioned. I’ve been on it for nearly a year, with two large stretches of not receiving it, one about 6 months ago, and another now. It’s due to an insurance fuck-up but I’ve finally got the ball rolling to try and sort that out.
I’ve been working out fairly regularly, push-ups, sit-ups, free weights, lots of stretching. I enjoy it, it makes me feel good.
My parents are coming to visit in five days, and my aunt and uncle are back in three.
Vancouver is fun. Much fun.
I’m enjoying this album a lot more the second listen through. My folks are coming down to visit in the next couple of days, and I have an interview at chapters tomorrow, some sort of group deal. I’ve been reading some articles, in the walrus and adbusters. Enjoying myself. I went for a long walk today, and I remembered to take my pills. I bought some groceries for the week, but I think I’ll give the milk and cereal away.
I didn’t play a video game all day today, but I did watch TV and a movie.
I tried to sign up for a poetry site a friend uses, but I found it awkward and non-functional, which is part of the reason why I’ve begun using this again. It’s already set up.
I’ve begun to read some Vonnegut, and pay attention to an Adams. I think it’s helping me.
Something I noticed recently is that I have what amounts to a small soul. I’m trying to make it grow, and by a major accident, the most growth I can remember came as a consequence of using a journal of some kind. throughout katimavik, my first year of university and my second of college. Even few and far between as it was, and as little as I remember about those times, reading back, this journal is like a time machine, showing me the things I used to care about, that I can’t remember any more.
I’m in Vancouver, and I’m not sure why except that I don’t think I was ready to go to Halifax and that Fort Mcmurray (as I told people) was driving me crazy. I’ve been in VC for nearly a month. I’m doing well, but not terrific. I haven’t a job yet, and I really have to focus on that.
But that’s not exactly what I want to talk about now. Vonnegut told me that every writer writes for one person. I had to think about who it seems I’ve been writing for. Reading back, it appears that I’ve always been writing for a person that doesn’t really exist yet, my future self, as a way to improve my life, keeping me focused and on track.
Hopefully I can begin again, and not fuck it up this time.
Willing to sell door. Will open into imaginations. Three magic beans or best offer.
Working full time and going to school full time is probably the most hectic, stressful, busy, and rewarding way to spend the year. God willing, I won’t take a turn for the worse and become ill again. I’m going to cut back a little on work, to just four days a week, and less of all this extra work I’m piling on. While the money is good, the money shouldn’t be the ends involved in me working at my job. I should be performing my tasks to the best of my ability, increasing that ability when able, and enjoying myself while doing it. That doesn’t mean that I have to be working doubles all weekend, then working a half morning shift, going to school, and then heading back to work afterward. It’s too much for me, I’m going to miss out on some very important things, and I won’t perform as well as I could be performing were that not the case.
I haven’t been as retrospective as I should be.
My sister left today for katimavik, and the significance of this, the importance of this, nearly escaped me. I nearly ruined her last night in town, just because I was trying to pick-up on a girl that was younger than her. I’m looking forward to exchanging letters with her.
The EVN thing fell through. I’ve decided to begin using the blog a little more, hopefully to help me regain the focus in my life. Not that I lack focus, I’m very busy, as I said. Rather I mean the attention to detail. Since, as many people tend to do, I’ve been running essentially on auto-pilot lately. Time to wake up. I may even begin to pray. I wonder if you can pray to yourself.
I experience regret at the violence in the world.
I’m not really sure what I expect. The closest thing I can describe this sensation is.. the opposite of faith in God. I don’t have any proof, but intelligently I’m sure it’s true. Deep down there’s this well of sadness. Depressive. My cat is in all liklihood dead. I haven’t seen a corpse.. but I know.
I’m not a particularly stunning fiction writer.
But I’m going to give it a go. I figured that an EVN TC may be a good way to sink time that’s not WoW, and that won’t interfere with my life, as many things on the computer (or any form of reality escape, be it TV, video games, or books) seem to do. I’m going to write some SF. Choose your own adventure style.
My tuition is paid for the next year. I am begining to put checks aside for the house fund. so far, I’m 2g in to it. 23g to go. /whistle.